Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
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