Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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