So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Randomize
