Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
