That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I met the friendliest cop last night
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
