Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
