So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
