Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
