I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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