Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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