so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
