Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
