I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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