I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
