I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
