We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I am available for nakedness
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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