Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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