Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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