Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
