So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
