So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
