are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
