I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
