Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
