She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
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