Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Randomize
