we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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