no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
