Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
