Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize