i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Randomize
