she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Randomize
