and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
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