By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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