woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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