1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
You're earring is so big in my mouth
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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