never play flip cup with pint glasses
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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