I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Idk if I want to put a bra on
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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