trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
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