that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
