I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
