Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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