Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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