So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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