she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
