Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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