This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
