Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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