Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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