4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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