party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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