He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
