u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
