Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
