dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
