i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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