You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
