I'm lost and stupid without you.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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