You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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