I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
